Hi all. I've been reading through your board and I have a unique situation that I would like your thoughts on. Its a bit of a long story, but I'll try not to go on and on .I have been married to a wonderful girl for the past 13 years whom I love deeply, and I think she loves me. We have 2 little girls and a healthy relationship. The problem is her and her whole extended family are deeply entrenched mormons, so much so that her uncle is the bishop and her dad works for the church as a maintenance handyman and is a 2nd counselor to the stake president.

From the moment me and her got together I've had missionaries browbeating me to try and join the church. I was raised as a christian but never went to any kind of church because my mother never trusted it. Long story short, I have still not joined the church and have no immediate plans to do so. I don't have any vices I'd have to give up because I don't smoke, drink, or even drink coffee or tea. The simple truth is that I just don't trust them. I never trusted them before, but after reading some of these stories I really don't trust them and will probably never look at them the same again.

There have been flat out atttempts at sheer intimidation by the missionaries against me on so many occasions that I have literally had to throw their smarmy little butts off of my front porch. They get these young gung ho kids in there and I am apparently the "big fish" that they think they can reel in. My problem is their attitude towards my wife. She was born, raised and sealed to her family in the church.

I'll continue. I can tell they view her differently because I'm not a member and we both have to work full time jobs to pay the bills. THey have recently loaded her down with 2 callings, one as a boy scout den mother and another as a 2nd counselor to the primary, where she has to go in on Sunday and conduct the sharing time. WHen school starts back she'll have to go every Wednesday night for her boy scouts. THis is all on top of an increasingly stressful full time job and raising two little girls. I told her the other night that I thought they were taking advantage of her, and she got REALLY angry and said hurtful things that I would never even dream of saying to her. What can I do to get her to realize what is really going on, or is it too late for her?

_________________
~Neither Sinner nor Saint, I am simply Myself~
~Je regrette rien~

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup"

I could really care less what they think of me or how they treat me. I'm antisocial anyway so it's of no concern. I'm more worried about her opinion of me. Im afraid that eventually they'll force her to choose between them and her immediate family (eg me and our babies), and when that day comes I'll be SOL. Especially with her family so entrenched, she feels shes the "black sheep" and will leap before she looks to retain their opinion of her.

There are some facets of the church that I admire, however, particularly some of the core values of reverance and humility that they are teaching my kids. I just don't want them to associate Joe Smith as equal with Jesus Christ or God himself.

PS I like your sig. It made my day!

Hello acid1216, I know this situation of the Mormon wife can seem very full of weirdness for the nevermo, but this story you have to now live with is strongly typical.
I'm a Christ lover of Jesus and see the LDS poorly constructed Joseph story as nothing short of a terrible scam needing unsuspecting kind people like your present wife to front. The amount of fear, guilt and shamming it takes to try and maintain the charade of this Mormonism thing is astonishing.

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God of Poly-Folly Folly

{ If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~ Stevie Wonder }
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God of Poly-Folly Folly

_________________
~Neither Sinner nor Saint, I am simply Myself~
~Je regrette rien~

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup"

Like maybe treating less than a pennies worth of percentage toward humanitarian needs while attempting to remain non-transparent with any sort of creditable financial statements to the Government or even it's own paying tithe members.

Of course, not ever admitting the complete false and proven covering up, of a very bad and broken story from the get-go.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{ If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~ Stevie Wonder }
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God of Poly-Folly Folly

That's a valid concern. You can be sure that they'll attempt to separate you from your wife and kids when it becomes a sure bet that they can't convert you to the cult .

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Dipsnort, sniper of truth and aspiring Harriet Tubman of Mormonism

Get ahold of the Bishop and let him know any dealings with your wife go through YOU as head of the household. Callings and whatnot are fine, but you are the head of the family. No callings without his asking you... as it should be.

If your wife ever hints at the idea of leaving you because you're not giving in and joining the Church, you can simply remind her that she knew going in that you weren't a member, and gently let her know that you're still the guy she fell in love with and married, but that you're just never going to be a Mormon.

I'm afraid that too many women marry non-members, feeling confident that they will eventually give in and become members. I've seen it many times.

It doesn't seem to occur to them for even a second that this won't happen.

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"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

that is exacty what happened in my situation...she finally wore hersef down to the point where when she realized that I was not 'coming 'round like she had always thought I would...itwasme that was being forced to change, and I, for some unknown reason at the time, just backed off in exercising that alleged 'priesthood power' as I down deep inside, I was not really convinced.

"Yes, teoma, you have been a good provider, helped pay the bills, been a good father and all, but when you find out just who you are, and things change, we can get remarried"

Well, things have changed,so much so now, that I will never go back to a life like that,knowing what I know now...So, Acid1216, you have a leg up here over me, you're astute enough to suspect some thing clearly amiss early in your marriage and are willing to attempt some changes to keep you and your sweetheart wife and kids together....be gentle yet firm in your resistance...keep the channels of communication open with her and emote fully,your sincere concerns as you feel or see them....if she has the same love for you as you do for her, she might come to understand things from your viewpoint...it will be a rocky road, but well worth the effort for the both of you if you succeed. I sincerely wish you good fortune in this endeavor.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."

Thanks for the great advice everyone. I think things will be alright for the time being.