How bout some version of "Rose"....Rosanne Barr spits....Rosie Oddumel likes her counter/nether parts....The Rose character on Titanic likes elicit sex.... We have "the rose line" stuff from Dan Brown. She rerose amoung the rows of Rose's Roses...There autta be something you could do with that...

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Jesus save me......[from your followers]

That's it-Prophet-Ass-that's what I want to be, not patriarch. Prophetass is something I could do well!

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The Devil in the White City

I can't believe it either. I'm not planning to sing praises to your name. I'm wondering what it's like BABB to play with the prophetess, (if you know what I mean?

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"The price we pay for the security we think we have is the life we could have lived."
"What you do shouts so loudly, I cannot hear what you say." Emerson
"The greatest risk is not taking one."

It shall be done.

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

I just noticed, yes, it's true, I'm a God. Not THEEE God, just a God. I did a full body check and not one super power nor am I glowing. It's sort of anti-climactic or whatever that word is.

It's early though and I haven't had any coffee, which is a manifestation every morning that God loves us because he made Mountain Roast and Hazlenut Creamer.

I was thinking of creating a new mammal or at least a small useful bacteria or something. It's a start but this God stuff is a real burden. I have no desire to emulate the Biblical God. That guy is a freak!!! Killing babies and goats and gentle homosexuals and stuff. Who needs another one of those?

If any of you have any suggestions I'm listening because I'm finding that being a God is quite lonely. I've been having sex with a mortal. I wonder if that's a sin in God-dom. Sometimes I invoke the name of GOD when I'm in the throes of Nirvanic Hie-ying to Kolob, so that might make it ok.

There's not even a handbook or anything for this sort of job unless you consider the Bible, Koran, or that Jewish scroll as basis but that stuff was printed clear back in the Guttenburgh days and is seriously outdated.

Well, This God is going to take a shower and go back to bed for a half hr.. Yes, God needs her beauty sleep. If you all decide to mess around on earth while I'm out, just clean up after yourselves. Hey, that could be the basis for my new bible. Be nice, and clean up after yourselves.

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

Great Scott! I go away to see Batman for one afternoon and Insanad becomes God. Order has finally been restored in the galaxy.

Wow! Could you create a world with peace and less politics?

Oh My God...oops!

I mean Oh My Insanad! All hail!

Leave it to her to reach the highest degree of "glory" first.

Oh...Oh...I feel another revelation coming. Where's my scribe...Ouch...damn...just whacked my head on the Seer Stone again. Oh and there's a gash! Oh...no...blood. I'm feeling faint...or is that feint. ooooooooooooooooooooooo

And I LIfe Rocks did see a glorious womanly shape...(well actually she was getting soft and mushy in the middle) and She did speak to me...and said,

Behold, Life Rocks, I am Insanad, Goddess of light and truth.

And now that I'm on top (I like to be on top) I've come to give you further light and knowledge and truth!

And I asked,

And how shalt I know that thou art a true Goddess? What is the holy test of light and knowledge?

And she did say,

It shall be forever more the rule of the Grand Tetons.

The rule of the Grand Tetons I did ask?

Yeah, for in the past I did send two French explorers who did see two mountains in the land called Wyoming and they did think of the similarity of these 2 mountains to a woman they knew with large ta tas...tetons...tas tas...same thing.

But there are so many tas tas in the land...how shall I know for certain that these are the true tas tas " I did ask.

And she said, "Look"

And I did look and beheld such bodacious tas tas as had never been seen before in the land. And I did lust mightily...grievious to be born. And it was like looking directly at the sun and having your eyeballs fried.

Then suddenly the vision went away and the light drew out of my room and I was left alone and I was left on my bed with nothing but a smile on my face and bump on my head.

The End.

PS- BABB, I wouldn't be doing any more of the wild thing stuff with Insanad.
The shock will kill you!

PSS- Someone male needs to get up there quick to tell her what to do! So she can start birthing spirits to fill the bodies of the new worlds her husband God is going to be creating. Somehow that almost seems like a fish or a frog having multiple eggs? How about that Insanad...going through child birth 6 billion times.

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"The price we pay for the security we think we have is the life we could have lived."
"What you do shouts so loudly, I cannot hear what you say." Emerson
"The greatest risk is not taking one."

Noo Life Rocks, Now that I'm a God, I'm going to make it so you fellers have to give birth. The beauty of that is that it will create a new world order of order and balance in population growth because from what I know about men and pain, they would only be willing to go through it once. (Imagine taking a ripe canteloupe and shoving it through your esophogus, only reverse the image, or maybe a grapefruit through the eurethra. Yes, that kind of pain).

As to the Tetons and grand visions, Ano and Tano are part of my Holy Trinity. This was BABB's vision last night "And behold, there appeared before me a woman of "Venus of Willendorf" proportions, and she bare two personages, each exceedingly full with pink noses pointing mostly outward but a little southward, and she spake unto me saying, "Behold, I bring thee Orbical Proclaimers of Great Joy and Pleasure". I beheld, and be-held, and be-held till she told me she needed to roll over because her arm was going to sleep, so I movedeth my hands to the hips, and then after a while I slept, but in the morning, great was my joy and my power, but it was not yet nigh time to rejoice in my priesthood for she sleepeth, and growleth at my poketh, there for, I took a shower and it went away."

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

Neener-neener-neener!

Sorry God. The game is already in place. Can't be changing how things are done now.

Maybe as a god--goddess you grow extra orbicals whatch-ma-callits to satisfy the growing need.

You may find this God stuff is not all it's cracked up to be.

Does this mean you've gotten your virginity back?

Am I suppose to cross myself or something?

And how can I worship someone like you...it feels more like lusting than worshiping!

I could do a full body casting of you so that we could all have some graven images to light candles to. I could put a bowl in your hand to fill with holy water so we could dip and cross like the Catholics. And with the bright, white plaster...you would look very pure...white and delightsome....hmmmmm pure...Insanad? in the same sentence. Doesn't feel right does it.

Nahhhhh!

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"The price we pay for the security we think we have is the life we could have lived."
"What you do shouts so loudly, I cannot hear what you say." Emerson
"The greatest risk is not taking one."

I keep losing my virginity behind the couch but BABB finds it and puts it back every time, only to take it again and hide it. I think he gets off on that. It's weird.

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

God, eh........

I want some miracles, dammit. Well, I don't want them for me, but I know a few people who could use one.....

michaela

Michaella,You allready got "gorgeous for life". The only miracles I've been able to do is to make certain foods disappear right before your eyes. That and make stuff grow. I'm just a God Apprentice and so far, haven't even invented a chicken. I can do snakes though. (imagine cartoon fat kid rolling playdough into long thin coils).

About 2/3 of the population of the earth could use a good miracle or two right now. HEY REAL GOD!! ARE YOU LISTENING.... I think he's off on Kolob impregnating his minnions of Mormon women. He's always so pre-occupied with sex, unlike the members of this board, who have much loftier thoughts.

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

I want some miracles, too, goddamit, I mean insanadammit!

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The Devil in the White City

Wow, that was the first time someone has taken my name in vain. It took less than a day to blaspheme your new God.

I'll tell you what, if that's the worst done in my name, then I'll call it all good.

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

Nicely done PL.... I think perhaps she's still just a lessor/midlevel god. And not yet really worthy of any serious vain name status....

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Jesus save me......[from your followers]

Allright Curtis, I'm going to have Zeus kick your pastey white butt! Either that or turn you into an unravished bridegroom to roam the earth like "Ode to a Grecian Urn". Gawd, I'm drunk with power.

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

Can you imagine all the printing and signs that now need to be changed?

Our coins will have to be reminted with Insanad We Trust.

Our anthems...Insanad...bless America....Land that we love...

All our curse words...Insanad dammit

Oh my Insanad! which on the computer is now OMI instead of OMG

The hymns are they now hyrs?

We Thank Thee Insanad for a prophet!

Insanad Be With You Til We Meet Again!

Oh My Mother.

And Christmas songs..

Insanad rest ye gentlemen let nothing you dismay...

Someone sneezes...Insanad Bless You!

The sacrament prayer...Oh Insanad, The eternal mother,

Hillary's pissed. She thought she had you beat!

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"The price we pay for the security we think we have is the life we could have lived."
"What you do shouts so loudly, I cannot hear what you say." Emerson
"The greatest risk is not taking one."

I smell ... in a word ... jealousy. Careful, this is how that Mormon War in heaven started out. God laid out a Liberal plan of Free Agency, where people actually had choices, and some Damn Republican named Satan, came along and said, "Follow me, I have the perfect plan (for the country) and everyone will obey and come back to the fold.

Ohhh TORT!! that was a good one. Republicans/Satan. I think I'll make you a Pope-ass. Pale Ale allready has the title of Pope, and LR wants to be the next prophet, but no one has called for the position of Pope-ass yet. You'ld make a good one. This God stuff is a kick. I wonder if I can fly.....ahhhhhh...hhhh...hhh..Ouch, Dang, Crap...ouch again.

I guess not. What the hell good is a Godhood if you can't have super powers? I wonder if I can see through peoples clothing... EWWWWW, that was disturbing. Where did I get those skanky panties?

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Pissing in the Mormon Koolaide one post at a time. LIE PINOCCHIO!!! LIE!!!!

So, Tort. I'm a little off my game tonite, but as far as I can tell, you're trying to kiss up to a gawd....who can't even fly....quoting me, who's quoting P.L. Ale....who's making jabs at gawd.... Then you obviously are trying to pick the winning team....both in heaven and on earth....Last I heard, Vegas has it a even odds....both in November....and that final battle armageddon millenium thing

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Jesus save me......[from your followers]