My daughter entered the morman cult about a year ago. My nieve trusting 21 year daughter started dating this 24 year old morman boy in Jan. He proposed in March and wants to get married in august. We have tried everything to convince her to wait. This boy is a real imature jerk that is in a big hurry to win the lottery with my daughter. I NEED HELP!!! She lives in Vernal Utah.Are there any ex mormans out there close to her age that can set her straight? I live in the Los Angeles area , are there any support groups
because our family is going crazy. Thanks Rachelle

Sorry that you are having such a hard time right now scared-4-daughter. There is lots of help here and elsewhere. Welcome to the boards!

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God of Poly-Folly Folly

{ If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~ Stevie Wonder }
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God of Poly-Folly Folly

You might not be able to dissuade your daughter from joining, if she is really set on it and in love with this boy. It's likely that she is being fellowshipped by the entire congregation and feels that she has never met a more friendly or loving community. If she joins she will be expected to work for the church all her waking hours, contribute as much money as possible in addition to fundraising, take all sorts of condescending rubbish from men in the church, and bear as many children as possible. Any questioning is met with lots of personal criticism and can lead to depression. At this point most people question the church, and this is presented as weakness or succumbing to temptation. It is a crucial time and it is important to have friends and family to support you - just what the church tries to prevent in having members spend their entire lives in the church or among other members. It is then that your daughter might really need you.
My best friends when I was in the church were those who made it clear that they accepted me but considered Mormonism nonsense. It's not a good idea to be overcritical of the church with members, they will be told to stay away from you.

So what is your daughter like? People join the church for lots of different reasons. How's your relationship with her? If you knew what she needs and gets from membership in the church, and you have a good relationship with her, maybe there's a chance to help her see how she could get those goodies in some alternative way without having to swallow the whole Mormon parasite.

I agree with Dorothy, though. Convincing your daughter to follow a course different than the one she's on is unlikely. Think about people in love in general--they don't use reason to make their decisions, usually, so reason and rationality don't have much influence. But if you have a good history with her, you may have some pull with her.

That which you have no control or influence over, however, is best to accept and deal with. In the long run, you'll maximize your influence by staying connected, so don't burn bridges. I think that's good advice, though not always. In any case, I feel for ya.

My first daughter to marry had gone up to BYU Idaho for school as an unencumbered, 18 year old in March of 2007.

In the environment of a predominately LDS town and student apartment refrigerators covered with wedding announcements, she got sucked into the idea of being married. When a young kid that she knew from high school started pursuing her, she raced to the alter. There was nothing I could do or say that would keep her from following through with this ridiculous idea.

If they get married in the Temple be prepared to sit out the wedding since you're not worthy to go not being a member. The Church is incredibly strict on this part. They don't care for the extended family at all. And even if you've served mankind in more ways than God, they still won't allow you to participate in the wedding. I hate to tell you, but there's more disappointment ahead.

In this way, the LDS Church is even more sinister and evil than most cults. They pretend to be more mainstream while still maintaining all of the same controlling attributes of a cult. People don't realize when they're joining the Church that they're becoming part of a cult with a history of self sacrificing temple rituals, polygamy and overt racism rivaling the Klan. I really feel for you.

_________________
"The price we pay for the security we think we have is the life we could have lived."
"What you do shouts so loudly, I cannot hear what you say." Emerson
"The greatest risk is not taking one."

I am very sorry to hear about the stress your family is going through. I have seen this before. I don't have children so I don't think I can be of much help on this topic. However, I do wish you the very best and I hope that you can dissuade her from taking his hand.