Hello folks. Not exactely sure what my status is yet concerning the church, but I'll explain my life story as simple as possible. This might take awhile.

Hope'n to get some help on things since I have no real friends to talk to.

Well,

Not sure if I really want all this on the inter-webs right now. I'm gonna take it down for now. Sorry. Gotta try and protect me and the kids.
Thanks for the support guys!

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SELF APPOINTED MODERATOR

All I can say right now is wow! Welcome!

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"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."

Welcome to the ex-mormon forums.

Welcome BeeHave,

It's good to have you here. I'm interested to hear the rest of your story.

Peace

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I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17

Thanks guys, Gals?

Seriously there's so much more to my life story, just too much to write at one time.

This took me almost 4 hours to write. Feels good though.

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SELF APPOINTED MODERATOR

sorry about all the shi# you've gone through in your life. Hope we can be of use to help you out mentally/emotionally in some way through these forums.

Take a couple of deep breaths, take a break, then ventilate some more here...sometimes it really helps to share the hurt..

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"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."

Thanks guys! I love Mythbusters btw!

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SELF APPOINTED MODERATOR

Wow, Just read the updated version of your story.

First, I'm sorry you've had to go through all of that, Mormon involvement or not. Some of greatest pleasure and greatest heartache comes from family. I'm sorry that you've had to endure more than your share of heartache.

While my story is not as sad as yours, I understand a portion of what you experienced. I have been divorced and left the LDS faith and some of that has been used to deprive me of time with my kids.

Sticks and stones break bones. Words can cut to the quick. Y'all have spent way too much time hurting each other. I would not recommend co-habitating with her without getting some serious marriage counseling, and bishops are generally not equipped for what y'all need. Y'all don't have a healthy relationship. If y'all had the skills to fix it, you would have done so already. And a big part of the problem is that the Grace you have in your marriage is the Grace that Mormons have ... one that isn't really grace at all but an ugly conditional love. It's a denial of your sin nature (the truth) and an unreasonable expection of the other.

I'm curious, do you stay with her from obligation/commitment? Because you don't want to be the one who calls it quits? Because of the children? Because you feel you must be married to reach the celestial kingdom? Because you love her? Because you "need" her?

I understand why you might not want to write the answer in a public place. Think about it.

In my situation, I found is the "lost love" that I claimed I felt was really other feelings pretending to be lost love.
It was rejection.
It was fear.
It was loneliness.
It was frustration over lost dreams.
It was that unsettling feeling of not having a direction in my life.
But it was mostly rejection and the hurt that came from it.

In my situation I found that exercise was (as many studies will support) a great anti-depressant with firming and toning side-effects. I highly recommend it.


I wish you peace.

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I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17

Hugs to you, you have been through a hell of a lot

I agree with the last poster, you need to sort out why you feel you want to stay and find your direction.
Well done on getting your story written up on here.....getting things down on paper can clear the head and is very cathartic.

Hi BeeHave,
Looks as though you might have begun your new lease on life.

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God of Poly-Folly Folly

{ If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~ Stevie Wonder }
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God of Poly-Folly Folly

welcome !
I read all your story, all I can say is wow...
Can't even imagine all the fights you've been through, it's crazy, hope you get to recover FOR GOOD and start anew

Welcome, BeeHave. That is a lot to digest. After all you've been through, I have calculated your age to be about a hundred and seven. That is too much for one life-time.

There are people here who have gone through one or another of the types of experiences you describe. Your divorce and bishop's court is something I can relate to. I didn't go through a bishop's court, but what I did go through was worse than I would wish on anyone. I wasn't "violent" either, but was accused of "beating" my wife! I could not believe when I read that. It is so incredible. I'm sure she was just misunderstood; she wouldn't have said that. But a couple of people think that is what happened. So I can kind of sympathize with you there. Then her Mother wrote that part, and some other incredible stuff and put it on line.

I think you will find soul-friends here. Welcome.

Sorry for the hard times. Welcome to the forums, glad to have you here. Hopefully you can find some good advice here, I know I have.

Welcome aboard. That's a lot you've gone through.

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"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'
- George W Bush

"Forget everything that I have said . . . ." Bruce R. McConkie, August 18, 1978

Still processing... Thanks for the responses. I'll post again a little later.

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SELF APPOINTED MODERATOR

I hate censoring myself but, sometimes protecting myself and others is best.

Your input is still welcomed. I just don't know what to do right now?

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SELF APPOINTED MODERATOR