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Mrmr9
Post  Post subject: So.. Hi!  |  Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 1:31 am
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Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 1:08 am
Posts: 4

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Hello its nice to find this community, its exactly what I needed right about now.

So Ill tell you a little bit about myself, I was born catholic, and my whole family is catholic. I attended a church highschool here in Mexico and have known mormons my whole life. Never did I expect to be baptized until I met my ex. We met in highschool and fell in love, however he was a passionate mormon and disliked that I wasnt. But I was young and he was my first boyfriend so I overlooked that detail for the first years. He left on his mission and asked me to wait for him, and I did. He was never a "good" missionary, he ignored most of the rules and talked to me almost daily for those two years. He was mean a lot of the time, because I was not baptized and didnt really show any intent in doing it any time soon. That made him angry, but he continued to demand my constant attention be it by messages, phonecalls, skype, hand written letters, sometimes money, and so on. He broke up with me a bunch of times during his mission until it was time for him to come home, he said he wanted me there when he came back. So I was.

After that we were together for two more years, making it a total of 5 years in a relationship. On the start of the second year he had been home, he started drinking again ( like before his mission) and was growing bored of me. I became pregnant March two years ago, and lost the baby one night he was out with his friend. I remember being in alot of pain and begging him to stay, but he left anyway. After that we broke up a couple of months after, but he continued to ask for money and demand some things. He found another girl to be with while he still had me on the side. By September of that year he kind of came back , he told me we wouldnt be official anymore and that being with me was "wrong". He lived off my money and food and even stayed at my house almost everyday. Im a student I didnt have much but I tried to make it be enough for both of us. He had the other girl and when I confronted him about it he told me we werent dating so I couldnt complain. He told me we would never be together if I didnt baptize.

In those conditions I fell pregnant a second time. I didnt tell him then. I was petrified of what was going to happen, so I agreed to convert to the church. He agreed and I did. A couple of months later he left for his hometown and didnt come back. I found out he found someone else (a mormon woman) and told him to never talk to me again. That weekend he proposed and she agreed. I told him about the baby then. He said it didnt matter, he would take car of the baby with any economic means he could, but he was still marrying the other woman. I was an anxious mess for the next month.

I lost my baby on febuary 23rth one year ago. It has been ,to date, the most painful physical and emotional experience Ive ever had.

He got married last June in my hometown, to her, neither of them live anywhere near here. Their hometown is 12 hours away.


I now understand that I was blindsided by my feelings for him. The decisions I made at the time were horrible for myself , and to a certain degree I was abused and manipulated. Im better so much better now, happier, studying, spending time with my family ( who were honest to god terrified about my relationship to this man) playing sports I love, I have FRIENDS again , and everything is generally better.

However the scars left, the pain still comes back from time to time. And Im trying to slowly get rid of everything that horrible relationship left me. So leaving the church is a NECESSARY step for me to recover and continue on with my life. Id appreciate your help greatly. Ive already taken the first step yet the letter was returned. Ill keep trying.

sorry for the long intro :/ tried to summarize it the best I could. Nice to meet ya`ll!


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Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: So.. Hi!  |  Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:49 am
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Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 7:46 pm
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Hello and welcome. Thank goodness you are going to be free from him and from the Church.

I hope that you can find someone who will always treat you with love and respect.

_________________
"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: So.. Hi!  |  Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 7:13 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid ... rry%20roar

Welcome!

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: So.. Hi!  |  Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 2:27 pm
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2801
Location: NC

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Welcome Mrmr9!

Thank you for your honest story. I'm sorry that you lost 2 babies.

I find it so ironic that he was passionate about getting you to join a religion that would have kicked him out if he were honest about what he was doing with you. I think it speaks of his character. He was willing to lie and to justify all sorts of things. The big answer is you are better off without him. I would not like a person like that raising my children.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: So.. Hi!  |  Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 9:59 pm
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Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:23 am
Posts: 7886
Location: D&C 121:39

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Hi, Mrmr9

Egads! What hell you went through! What a persevering saint you are! You sure put up with a lot. It's an incredible story. The saddest part for me was losing two babies. The angriest part for me was how he treated you. I'm sorry you felt you had to join the Church to keep him, but I'm glad that you have "cut the tie that binds" by leaving the Church . . . and him. I can only imagine the feelings that were going through your heart. Once the split is definite, it gets better, so don't lose hope. For sure, better things are in store for you. God bless.


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Mrmr9
Post  Post subject: Re: So.. Hi!  |  Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 11:54 pm
Nursery

Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 1:08 am
Posts: 4

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thankyou so much for your kinds words :) It truly made my day!

It was a tough time, but I am really happy with my life right now and am doing everything in my power to move on! I just hope that if anyone ever feels like they HAVE to do something like change religions for someone they might read my story and make the right decision for themselves :)

thanks again your support means soso much!


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JonMinLoganUtah
Post  Post subject: Re: So.. Hi!  |  Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 5:07 pm
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Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 4:59 pm
Posts: 12
Location: Logan, Utah

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Welcome. Glad that you are rid of that idiot. You are stronger than you know and I am so glad that you are out of the Church.

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http://www.jonathankmarshall.blogspot.com


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