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trt
Post  Post subject: Hi all.  |  Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 3:22 pm
Nursery

Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2016 3:08 pm
Posts: 1

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Hi everyone. My name is Toni. I have just submitted my resignation from the church. I am tired of the church's mind control and manipulation. I have gone inactive a couple of times but I know I can only be free if I completely resign. I feel so alone though. I know that I will lose a lot of so-called friends and that will hurt. More than that, though, I don't know how I am going to build a new life without the church. I have always used it as a crutch when I have felt my lowest in life. I know this probably sounds stupid but it's true. I realize that the church takes advantage of people like me and I need to put a stop to it. I'm glad I found this website though so I don't have to be alone in this. Thanks for listening.


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Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: Hi all.  |  Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 5:50 pm
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Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 7:46 pm
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Hi Toni. It is definitely interesting trying to fit in with the rest of the world at first. We've spent so much time being separated into members and non-members, that it's really strange being out in the world and trying to find your place in it.

But I can tell you that it's worth it. You discover that most people are really nice and you start to feel like a member of the human race again. You no longer feel separated from it all. It's a much nicer feeling than being a part of an elitist group.

_________________
"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Hi all.  |  Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2016 2:11 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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Welcome Toni!
The thing about life is that it kind of happens anyway and now with your strong insight you can steer it in a direction that will give times of more happiness and pleasure rather than your time being dictated to before you even get it. I recommend starting by joining a group with an interest that you like as that will provide a natural structure and is a healthy way to meet new people. But more than what I think, a top guy in this area recommends that so it is worth a shot. Remember you get to call the shots so you can change and adapt and resteer as you go along. And then you can aim to be yourself and I have it on good authority that just being yourself is plenty. And listen to the how to heal link in my signature, that is an awesome link.

Congratulations and keep on posting :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: Hi all.  |  Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 6:36 pm
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Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:23 am
Posts: 7886
Location: D&C 121:39

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When the Church decided it didn't need me any longer, and I decided I would get on with my life without involvement in the Church, an amazing thing happened. I made friends with non-Mormons. Lots of friends. And it wasn't so I could ask them "the Golden Questions". And it wasn't so I could invite them to church and send the missionaries to their homes. It was so I could get to know them. We went places together, two at a time, ten at a time, and did things together - fun, crazy things, and traditional things (Rock Opera). The world is bigger than Mormon and non-Mormon. There are all kinds and sorts of "greys". The world is not black and white. Not just black and white. And the greys. They aren't grey. They are every color of the rainbow. But I couldn't see that before, when I was wearing my Mormon spectacles all the time.

The best thing for me, in disassociating from the church, was getting to know people as people (not as potential proselytes).

The next best thing, was taking a few steps back, and looking at Mormon teachings from outside the Church. And looking at what different people believed without judging them according to Mormon standards. I was "between standards", so this more objective looking at different religions, philosophies, teachings, I think it all helped me to settle in on a belief that has been evolving over the years. The one thing that is maintained is that there is no "only true church" - and maybe it doesn't matter so much what you believe about the hereafter, as much as it matters how you treat people in the here and now. :)

_________________
"Prove it!" - Tarquinius Septem

"Everyone has to find his own path." - Ip-Man


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Hi all.  |  Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 7:31 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2797
Location: NC

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Hey Toni,
So called friends aren't what we pretend they are. It's loosing another lie like Santa Claus. We are better off knowing the truth.

Welcome, you're taking a good and brave step. The cost is mostly upfront and mostly imagined to be much larger than it really is, unless you really just want a bunch of fake friendships.

Go find something else to do with your time and your money and you'll find new friends, maybe a few real ones.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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mufasapenny
Post  Post subject: Re: Hi all.  |  Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2016 9:05 pm
Sunbeam

Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2016 8:36 pm
Posts: 41

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toni i felt like the church did that to me also.i am a divorced single woman.i havent resigned yet but am thinking seriously about it.i have always been a people pleaser and this is a hard step for me because i live in a smaller town and the membership isnt huge around here.i live in wisconsin.i feel like they will do everything to keep me in the church.thats why im trying to decide if resignation would be better or getting kicked out.im so stressed and tired of the guilty feelings of not paying tithing or doing everything im suppose to do.its like god or my mind told me to just get out.


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Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: Hi all.  |  Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 6:02 am
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Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 7:46 pm
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I'm a people-pleaser too, but I've found as I've gotten older, that is changing. I'm more about doing what's right for myself and other people can either like it or lump it. Their reactions are not my problem.

_________________
"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Hi all.  |  Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 4:05 pm
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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mufasapenny, I would think that from the point of view of assertiveness and self respect, then resignation is preferable to being disfellowshipped or ex communicated. Self respect and self esteem are the root of everything good, else I fear you may find yourself repeating patterns. :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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