I would love to resign TSCC. And I would if I felt like it would stay confidential. Aren't resignations they supposed to be? My in-laws are the only reason I am staying in the church, just to keep peace. It is much better to be viewed by them as inactive than as an apostate. I just fear that it would get back to the very people that I want to keep it from.

I guess what I am asking, is there a way to resign and keep it between me & TSCC? Even if there is a way, I suspect that it could still get back to the in laws.

Any advice/ideas?

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Lofty Morality is the last refuge when one feels oneself to be hopelessly in the wrong. -Aleister Crowley

Nothing the Bishop does is confidential.

The bishop meets with various other leaders of the ward, and later with stake leaders,
and they will discuss individuals by name. Some will be potential converts, some will be new converts, some will be back-sliders and non-attenders, some will be those who have asked to quit the church, some will be apostates, some will be critics of the church, some will be family members who can pressure the back-sliders and drop-outs, some will be gay, some will be drinkers, some will be unemployed. They will discuss anyone they think they need to discuss, regardless of any confidentiality those persons think they had. And from there . . . the leaks are unstoppable. Soon the entire ward will know what you did, who you did it with, and how sincere your private, confidential repentance to the bishop was.

Do not expect confidentiality from Mormon church officials.

Confidentiality is not a gospel principle.

Dargo,

You can be mean and threaten them if they don't keep it quiet or you can beg for their confidence or you can ask them pretty please to keep it quiet ... but in the end you're dealing with people who want to bring you before Joseph Smith at the gates of heave and so they may do things to you as they try and do things for you.

Our bishop was pretty good. He was that salt of the earth kind of guy that I'd trust with my wallet. But we were active members. He knew. Stake President knew. And because we both had callings, things had to happen to replace us and maybe tell the primary president that even though they prayed and received revelation from God that we should be the nursery leaders, we were not available. Now I don't think that he said why (and honestly, you don't want too many people knowing that Brother POC left because he studied church history and found contradictions).

But I, like you, had trouble trusting that they could really keep it a secret. The temple president lived in my ward, Mom worked in the temple ... you can see how I might be concerned. So I chose to address my parents directly and tell them in person that I was leaving rather than letting them find out through the grapevine. That was in intense discussion. If you end up doing that use a great deal of love and patience.

BTW, wife and I have run into several people who didn't know that we have left or why we left (if they knew we havn't been around) ... or at least they faked it really well. I just can't see such a rumor not getting passed to your parents. "Oh Brother and Sister Dargo, we are so sorry to hear about your son."

Peace

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I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17

I resigned my membership in this organization over one year ago, so far the only people that are aware of this are those I have chosen to tell about it. My story follow if you choose to read it.
When I sent my letter of resignation to the church I wrote in it that all contents of my resignation were to be kept private and confidential. My letter stated that upon proof of receipt of my letter delivered by registered mail and signature required that they agreed to this condition and once the letter had been opened by "any" church personnel that they would be bound to keep my information confidential.
You might ask " How do i know it was received by the church" when I sent a letter of resignation to the membership section of the church they sent me a return statement telling me they had received my letter and that since my resignation was an "ecclesiastical issue" a decision would have to come from and be taken care of by the local church authorities.
The bishop of the ward I had been assigned to called me to discuss my letter, I told him there was nothing to discuss and if he had read my letter he would easily understand my reasons for resignation. He told me "I have not seen the letter. I was called by the stake president, told you were resigning and that I needed to meet with you to make sure you understood the ramifications that this action would have on my life in eternity"
I assured him I would be fine. I also assured him that we would not be meeting to discuss this as I wanted nothing to do with this organization ever again.
Since my elderly mother lived and attended this same ward I also informed him at that time of the confidentiality clause I had written in my letter, I told him that he was now apart of that since he was aware of the letter and that since he was a person of authority in that local organization I would hold him and all levels above him accountable under that clause should this information come to light through anyone from the church.
If you choose to resign and you are seriously concerned about your privacy , add a confidentiality clause, if you cant write your own write a draft then spend a $100 bucks and have an attorney do it, In fact if your spending that money have him send the letter on his/her letterhead.( probably won't even get a call from the bishop if you go that route) Have your letter notarized, send it registered mail signature required.


For me personally, best thing I have ever done in my life. such a freeing experience to not have something that was forced upon me at 8 yrs old by unknowing parents removed from my life. hope this helps
By the way,,,,I am 53 years old.



If God created the world, where was he before creation?…

How could God have made the world without any raw materials?...

If he is ever perfect and complete, how could the will to create have arisen in him?...

Great suggestion, Wiser. Thank you.

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"Everyone has to find his own path." - Ip-Man

Resignations are mostly confidential, but not always. When your parents go in for their temple recommends they will see that your name is no longer on the list. I forget what list this is, but your names will be absent from the list.

Also know that if a Bishop tells his wife about it, the whole ward will know.

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Read: MormonCurtain. Resign: MormonResignation. Recover: ExMormonForums.

They have some clandestine list of family members that they bring to the table during recommend interviews? Yet one more thing to get stuck in my craw.



Gah! No kidding. That has been proven to me a few times in the past.

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Lofty Morality is the last refuge when one feels oneself to be hopelessly in the wrong. -Aleister Crowley

Well I can say nothing quiet about mine. I'm not surprised at all. I know that some in the leadership run their mouths to wives and family. I have to admit though I find it a bit disturbing that they can't just leave things alone.

Well, they claim officially it is. Unofficially though if someone isn't prepared to deal w/ consequences of others discovering name removal don't do it yet.

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"Obtained a restraining order against all truebelieving LDS Sept. 2012 since, after all, there really is life after leaving Mormonism & I'm never returning"