So in the introduction forum I explained that we're getting out. But we have a few complications to work out. First of all my wife and I are both currently disfellowshipped and have been for about a year now. We were both engaged in LoC issues outside our marriage but we have since stopped and have repaired our marriage. Right now we are what you would call "worthy". But through our path to recovery we came to understand that the church is false and does more harm than good so we want out.

We have debated staying in long enough to get re-instated before resigning. I'd guess it would probably be just a couple more months, certainly by the end of the year. But I don't even know why we should bother. I guess we could just stop going but it's more complicated than that. I mean we're already on their radar for obvious reasons. So if we miss more that 2 sundays in a row we're going to attract attention. Plus our kids are entangled in the youth programs and daily early morning seminary.

Can we even resign with an open disciplinary action against us or will that just move them directly to excommunication? Not that it really matters? I don't know.

PS

Once my wife and I started to be honest with each other it was amazing to find out that all this time we were both pretending to be TBM even to each other. How messed up is that?

As I understand it, the law requires that as soon as you notify an official representative of the church (eg, your bishop) that you wish to resign, then they can't take any further disciplinary action against you. Of course, it's probably best to do so in written form, since that's easier to use as evidence.

See here http://exmormonfoundation.org/how-to-resign.html for more info.

That's like asking if you can resign membership from a country club if you still owe dues.

No club, organization or church owns you.
It doesn't matter what discipliinary proceedings are going on. Membership can be ended by you regardless of anything the organization is doing. The only exceptions I can think of at present are the Mililtary and prisons.

Never doubt yourself.
You've made a decision. It's right; it's yours. They need to respect that.

The contest is not between little you and big them.
You are not out-matched. If fact, imo, yours is the stronger position. You want out. Either they have to concede to your wishes, or find some compelling reason to keep you as a member, to persuade you to remain a member. If they cannot do that, how can they help but think maybe their understanding and reasoning is weaker, that there is some argument against remaining a member that is fuller, stronger, better, truer, than their pathetic arguments of how precious their church is.

Here's another site dedicated for this cause with example letters and some legal advice. And yes listen to Abinadi, he said the most important: Church doesn't own you! Your life belongs to you and you alone, take control of it for yourselves.

http://www.mormonnomore.com/

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“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche