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Nashma2
Post  Post subject: Can you goggle God ?  |  Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:51 pm
Nursery

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 11:38 am
Posts: 5

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Hey ,it is Sunday morning .Well all of this pass year ,I been learning leasons .Soul leasons ,the kind that rip your skin off .Little strips off at time.
Sometimes lately ,in the quite times I feel hope.The hope of new life .Simple joy of buying fish with my Sister kids.Watching my Son drive his new Boat down the Lake ,with counrty tunes so high the boat seats hmm.I can find God in that .Swimming in the lake with my grandson ,at sunset .So cold in that water ,I was sure that I would never be warm again .Smile on my son face as .He watched me give my sweater to my grandson at the fireside .I see God in that .
But today is Sunday *That is day where we play happy happy Life me and family*Go to *GOD'S* House . Where most of us ,if we are honest play phony phony used to be Molly Mormon ,rc princess oh so perfect little white gloved girl.

So here I sit this wet raining Sunday....Drinking diet coke ,I like my caffine cold .Well I am not Molly Mormon anymore so the kitchen is at peace .The Rc Princess is not going to Brunch at the country club.As ,one the leasons I learned this year was .In order to stop the white out of legal papers in my life .From Goat Boy (name my ex husband gave himself) I chose to give Goat Boy all the worldly goods of yours , That he disired .With that action ,went the stuff .Being poor now ,is nothings to be ashamed of .Being poor of spirt is.I find God in that , but it is very hard for me .I have cryed so hard on my face to my God ,that my bones hurt.Where was my *god*?

I know that here some souls will understand this post.If Iam honest I have come to a piont in my life where .I no longer want to fight with my family about *GOD* Today my Mom sits alone in a little Stone Rc Church praying to * GOD* That the cancer won't take her Brother ,my GodFather.My Sister is across town her with Family .Sitting on the far end of row from her Husband .Silent tears fall from her eyes ,as her sweet little family is ending.My Bother in law doesn't know,the final plans for his family ,as he bows his to pray.I did not go with my Sister this week as this may last time she goes to that church.My Brother is at home with his teenage son .My niece will call later in the afternoon.After a full week my Brother ,will take my niece shopping .Then make dinner for her Family ,Mom ,Sister's family (Wich are moving into his Home little new fishy and all)plus friend's that just Moved to town .Where my Bother always has room at the table.Where at the table we don't pass the rolls ....we throw them down the table *I find *GOD* in that.


I have worn a viel in my life for specail reasons of Man.As Rc princess ,little girl in white frozen in time on my Mother's wall.AS bride again all in white ,I felt pure and specail .The escence of prefection ?Again as Molly Mormon one the worst lies I let myself believe .Female mormon devine most prefect on high *Mormon Godess*Oh how the ego plays with the mind and soul.Is God Favor found by wearing a white veil ?Does that act of putting on a white viel ,make you pure enough for God or Man?


I have fewer anwers than I think I do . My Life has been sifted hard .I have seen the power of all mightly *God* In the eyes of a single Mom , as she waits in the rain for the small box of food .She prays will last the rest of the month.Those tears of hunger and fear mixed with rain.I did not know as I sat next to her sweet babies and shared a bowl of soup.That my new life ,the sifted pieces of unseen seed planted on my heart. That the Living *God* was watering those planted seeds that fell from loving hands and sweet speaking lips..As beat of drums found my Nasham on a warm summer night.My being swirled into circle and I worshiped my living God with my dance .As young girls ,soared like eagles .With there arms reach for the sky ,thier eyes sparkled with the spirt .Strong men took on a spirt of bear eagle and wolf.For a piece of time ,as my feet could fell strong beat of the dummers.My Nashama slowed and peace filled my heart ,colours ran together .It was as if God the Creather was saying you are home Daughter ,I will hold the moment in time forever in my heart .I felt God's presence and spirt .on warm summer night in the Circle ,as danced cane and all.Excepted by all They give no matter to what held my soaring soul as I danced .Be it a power chair ,walker or cane.I saw *God* in that .


So simple and sweet at times .With all Iam I want to learn the knowledge of peace .I am going to stop looking for God in houses .Because on the summer evening as I swirl in a dance of peace and oh so much love ,a seed grew into a Catheral Tree !Spirt rained down and touch my heart .My humble hard sift of my life,well I have a pasion now from it .That pasion grew from knowing hunger of the body and a worst hunger ,that is of the soul .A idea not of me ,is growing in my valley.A co-op for food a place a village of peace .In the eyes of my heart I know the place .Everytime I think of that village ,my minds so back to swirling colours of The Creater God .Vision of peacful little village forms by the river .Where my soul danced on a summer night in the circle not once but twice.


This my promble.I need words of peace and wisdom to fill my Nashama.For this Catheral tree growth is rapid .Through sweet lips the idea the pasion is spreading .Peacful arms are reaching out .People want to know when the co-op will be open.Can we trade goods there sell wild game.Child develope center when will it be open ,Housing co-op and pop bussieness a village grows .But not from me .

So ,soon a time not set yet .This woman born from a not so long ago Cree Great Grandmother .With Blond hair but deep brown eyes that worshiped her God on summer evening in dance.Will go before the Chef ,to share a Vison.With peace and wisdom ,not of herself .Ask respectfully of The Chef.To build the co-op ,child Devlopment center the village my heart and soul see .Non profit village of Peace *Nashama*


I do not know and have made poor chioses in my life. So does that blur my knowledge of God ?.Where is God ?My Mother 's RC Church ,My Sister's Church at my Brother's home ,as we throw rolls at the table.Or with my Boys as we play nerf darts on christmas morning .Or as my Nashma danced on a summers night to a beat remebered ?



Where is *G0d* A village is growing from peace .
May-be someone should goggle *God*?
My Nashama may know a valley where you don't have to goggle God ,
peacful creations of a Gloryous kind with large finger prints are growing evreywhere*


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BornAgainChristian
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you goggle God ?  |  Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2012 3:28 pm
Bishop

Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2012 10:48 am
Posts: 494
Location: Southern US (yes, there really is life outside of UT & post LDS)

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I understand. It's hard to play church when one's having doubts & mad at God

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"Obtained a restraining order against all truebelieving LDS Sept. 2012 since, after all, there really is life after leaving Mormonism & I'm never returning"


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you goggle God ?  |  Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:26 pm
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5488

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Hi Nashma2, great to hear from you today!

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God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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