View unanswered posts
View active topics
It is currently Wed Sep 20, 2017 12:13 pm


Author Message
lilirish
Post  Post subject: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:31 am
User avatar
Sunbeam

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 3:59 pm
Posts: 36
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA

Offline
I think everyone has "plans" when they enter adulthood.... Is your life "on track"? Mine isn't... and I'm glad.
I never thought I'd be divorced, remarried, and buying land to start a homestead... When I was LITTLE I imagined living in the country but it was more for horses than for farming. :P It's amazing how much more aware of my surroundings I am now than when I was a YA. Not sure if I thought I'd be resigning from the church or not... My relationship with it has always been rocky, but there were times I probably didn't expect it.


Top
Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 2:19 pm
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

Offline
Life on track..........Errrrrr,,,,No! Plan F,G,H........! But then, that question is asked from an earlier place. With the passage of the years I realise there is simply no value in comparing plans. As Abinadi says...Still here, still good. I have this moment.

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


Top
lilirish
Post  Post subject: Re: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 2:02 pm
User avatar
Sunbeam

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 3:59 pm
Posts: 36
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA

Offline
LOL true. ...


Top
Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 4:04 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

Offline
I just concentrate on this now;

“Learn to love better.
This should be our goal in the world: learn to love.
Life offers us thousands of opportunities for learning. Every man and every woman, in every day of our lives, always has a good opportunity to surrender to Love. Life is not a long vacation, but a constant learning process.
And the most important lesson is learning to love.
Loving better and better...
But one thing will be forever marked on the soul of the universe: my Love. All in spite of my mistakes, my decisions that caused others to suffer, and the moments when I thought it didn't exist.”


― Paulo Coelho

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


Top
Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 7:12 am
User avatar
MODERATOR

Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 7:46 pm
Posts: 6224

Offline
I thought about the question and realized that I'm not sure that I had an idea of where I wanted to be. Maybe I did, but was it what I wanted, or just what others told me I should want?

At the time I joined the Mormon Church, I didn't want children, but I thought I'd get married. After being taught all about eternal families, I decided that I wanted to get married and have about 5 children.

I didn't go to college or university, because being a mother was going to be my career. I just wanted any old job until I had that first kid and then would stop working.

No one ever told me that not everyone finds someone to marry. It takes two and maybe you'll never find someone who actually wants to marry you. Of course, even if they'd told me that, I probably wouldn't have believed them. I would have said, "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'll get married. Everyone gets married and has kids."

Not so, apparently.

Of course, at the time I was 18, I had no idea what I wanted to be. I was going to take some sort of child care courses at BYU, until my parents informed me that there was no college fund for me. If I wanted to go to college or university, I was going to have to pay for it myself. But since they hadn't bothered to tell me that when I was younger, I hadn't saved up for it.

I have all sorts of ideas of what I'd like to be when I grow up now, but now my sights are set on retirement and not on a future career.

I'm pretty sure that I wasn't expecting what I got, which was to still live with my parents, because I can't afford to live on my own. I've moved out twice, only to end up right back home again. Of course now it works out well because my parents are elderly and I help them out. But it scares me thinking about the scenario after my parents are gone.

I'm not sure exactly where I expected to be, but I'm sure that I wasn't expecting to be where I am.

_________________
"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


Top
erin119
Post  Post subject: Re: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 7:01 pm
Nursery

Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2016 2:56 pm
Posts: 14
Location: I have gone to look for myself...

Offline
Let's see...the last time I planned my life out in detail was around the time I was 17/18 years old. I wanted to be married within a year or two, and have kids by the time I was 25. The idea of having my own career and living on my own never occurred to me. I just thought I would find a decent job to support myself until I found Mr. Right and that would be it. I would be the good mormon wife I was taught was my only purpose in life.
Life has a funny way of showing us how wrong we are as kids. Not only did a major recession hit after I graduated (so work was scarce), but I also moved around so much in my early 20's that I didn't have time to date. Between just trying to survive and figuring out what to do with myself since I was "past" time to marry, I had no idea what to do.
It wasn't until my mid-20's that I finally figured that my plan was never going to work. That was around the time I finally met Mr. Right, and managed to find a way to go back to school. I don't have kids, and am not sure if I want to. But I now know that most of the reason I was doing that was because I felt some social obligation to do so. And I also find myself wanting to be removed from the Mormon church so that I can be free from all that.
I've learned that it's okay to be selfish and say "No, this isn't for me." Everyone else does it, so why can't I? There are times the unknown scares me, but since I've started to study science more I've become more comfortable with not always having the answers. It's like what Dr. Neil de Grasse Tyson says, "For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: Know more today about the world than I did yesterday, and lesson the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that goes."


Top
teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:52 am
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
Posts: 4772
Location: Kolobian Lowlands

Offline
Pretty much where I wanted to be after a double divorce: TSCC and a TBMolly partner. Figured to find another partner/companion and didn't stop shopping/looking until I found what I was looking for. So far so good I feel. We'll see what more time together provides for us both.....yes she's selfish too Erin, doesn't want to share me with other women.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


Top
Dooglas
Post  Post subject: Re: Are you where you thought you would be?  |  Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:11 pm
Nursery

Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:59 pm
Posts: 8

Offline
My plan when I was young was to follow the party line of church. I had no doubt that my patriarical blessing which promised me a family would be fulfilled as long as I followed the teachings of the church. As a man, I went to college and picked a good stable career so that I would be able to support the family that I would one day have. As time went by, I purchased a nice home and filled it with the things that my family would need. Time continued to pass, and I still did not have a family. I wondered if I was somehow not living according to the churches teachings correctly. I was as perfect as one could be in the church. I attended every week. Held callings that I took very seriously. Did my home teaching every month. (never on the last Sunday of the month). Paid my tithing. etc. etc. I even read the standard works every day like I was suppose to. Still no family.

My heart still breaks to this day that I never had a family.

Now, I am slowly getting rid of all of the trappings necessary for a nice well equipped family and starting to plan for a lonely retirement in a few more years.

Oh well, life happens.

Peace and joy to everyone here.


Top
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Print view

Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
Jump to:   
cron

Delete all board cookies | The team | All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group.