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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:38 am
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You have asked a question about mormonism - about its god, heavens, cosmology, whatever - and you get the answer, "That isn't necessary for your salvation." As though that were a "non sequitor". It is not. There are many things that would seem to be unnecessary for our salvation. Why do we need soil samples from the moon? If a Mormon studies those soil samples, is he in danger of losing his priesthood, because he is getting caught up in things not "essential" for salvation?

Once a prophet or apostle speaks publicly, however, isn't what they say, acceptable food for thought? We are told to study and discuss the teachings of the "living prophets", even the dead "living prophets".

Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, vol. 7, p. 142, said,
Quote:
Jesus has been upon the earth a great many more times than you are aware of.
I did not bring that up. The Prophet of the Lord (which lord?) brought it up. So isn't it fair and right to ask, how many times, and when, and where, Jesus was upon the earth? Or if that is too much to ask, could we at least ask for a range: was he upon the earth less than ten times or more than ten times? Less than a hundred, or more than a hundred? Didn't they keep records of his visits? Presumably, yes. When did they keep records, if they failed so utterly, that they, their records, and even legend of his appearances to them, are non-existent? Why don't we have the records of those visits? If the records haven't been revealed yet, why not? Why have records, if there no one has access to them? Since these are the latter-days, there isn't much time left to get them and actually benefit from them. If they are being reserved for the Millennium, whose stupid idea was that - (1) everything has been restored; (2) we are supposed to believe by faith, not be evidence, not by evidence provided by records; (3) we will have direct access to Jesus during the Millennium, and he will have told us everything we need to know anyway; so the records would be superfluous.

Brigham Young made up stuff.
Silly stuff.
Unsupportable stuff.
Cult-of-personality-promoting lies.


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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:33 pm
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Ok, that's a double dog dare Abinadi. Now I'm gonna post photos of Jesus sightings. He's like Elvis and has been all over the place since his untimely death. This is going to get down right irreverent so you'd better strap yourself in and cover your head. The shyte is gonna fly.

Here's how the whole Jesus gets sacrificed thing got started:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dzuxyq3ltls

So these two videos explain a little of the tension between Joseph and Mary and why it sucks to be the step father.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOg3ZR7iT5s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCmha2oT ... re=related

But as for Christ making a second, third, or even fifth coming and going on a world tour, that stuff is a little sketchy. These images might not be absolute proof but a sighting can inspire a spontaneous temporary reprieve from herpes or validate someones choice to join Amway. In that, they do have quantifiable power.

Image
Jesus on a terrier butt

Image
Jesus on a fish stick

Top 10 Jesus Sightings, including Messiah of the Molars, Pancake Prophet, Pizza Hut and Shower Jesus, Tailgate Jesus and Couch Jesus, and the Jesus Nebula.
http://www.thesharkguys.com/lists/holy- ... sightings/


Image

Here is one that gives meaning to the saying, "Bless us Cheesus!"

Image

not to be outdone, here's barbecue sauce Jesus

http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/ ... -year.html

He then went on to appear on the bottom of an iron, a cookie pan, a kit kat bar, a maple leaf, a mens room door, Mars image from Nasa, toilet seat, and the wall of a lumber yard.

The guy gets around. Brigham Young was correct on this prophecy. Truth restored!

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Mahonri
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:43 pm
He appears a lot in Mexico and in hispanic neighborhoods for some odd reason. A lot less to religious leaders from the Pope to BigTom to Reverend Ike to Jesse Jackson.


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:31 pm
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So, what you're all saying, it sounds like, is,
this one time,
Brigham Young did get it right!


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Redstone Harry
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:55 am
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It's clear He was on the earth many times in the 1800's in the manifestation young virginal girls. Joseph Smith and Brigham Young knew this, hence why they went after all those young virginal girls, so they could get in deep connection with Jesus, really deep and hot connection. Of course if they did this today they would get thrown in jail for many years and put on a list for life.


Last edited by Redstone Harry on Sun Jan 30, 2011 9:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:59 pm
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Jesus in potato chips and barbecue sauce.

Catholic mass should be way more popular now.


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Dansdone
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:17 pm
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Haven't you all heard faith promoting stories about him walking the halls of his holy temples after hours. Well didn't you believe them?

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Dansdone
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:18 pm
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BY can't be wrong all the time. {:-D

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robinidaho
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 5:40 pm
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He appears to all new apostles and the profit. I'm still waiting for my visitation. Maybe when I turn into a profit.


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St.ain't
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:41 pm
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Dansdone: I asked about Jesus walking the halls after hours, and if so why would anyone vacuum the carpets and erase his footprints? Does that mean the vacuum bags are sacred now too?
A ga once told my father that's why they needed so many temples worldwide- so you never were out of sight of the building where JC might be strolling 'round about midnight.


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Dansdone
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:18 pm
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Yea, those are great faith and awe inspiring stories about the late nite strolls in the temples by the Lord. Wonder why he visits after hours late at night and what is his business there? Same thing happens on the tv show ghost hunters, ghost like to come out at night when the lights go out. Can't figure out why?

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Dipsnort
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:42 am
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Dansdone wrote:
Yea, those are great faith and awe inspiring stories about the late nite strolls in the temples by the Lord. Wonder why he visits after hours late at night and what is his business there? Same thing happens on the tv show ghost hunters, ghost like to come out at night when the lights go out. Can't figure out why?

Little known fact: God has demanded that Monson build more temples with the purpose of having one for each of his wives. The ghost wife hangs out in the celestial room waiting for the "stroke" of midnight when the good lord "goes down" to have celestial relations with them to continue repopulating the earth. Each of his planets has a number of temples for this very purpose, as you might have guessed.

I once hid in the Seattle temple overnight and heard a woman's voice saying "Pay lay ale, come through the veil!" ;)

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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 5:59 pm
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Dipsnort wrote:
Dansdone wrote:
Yea, those are great faith and awe inspiring stories about the late nite strolls in the temples by the Lord. Wonder why he visits after hours late at night and what is his business there? Same thing happens on the tv show ghost hunters, ghost like to come out at night when the lights go out. Can't figure out why?

Little known fact: God has demanded that Monson build more temples with the purpose of having one for each of his wives. The ghost wife hangs out in the celestial room waiting for the "stroke" of midnight when the good lord "goes down" to have celestial relations with them to continue repopulating the earth. Each of his planets has a number of temples for this very purpose, as you might have guessed.

I once hid in the Seattle temple overnight and heard a woman's voice saying "Pay lay ale, come through the veil!" ;)


Yeah, and Pay Lay Ale (not our own Pay Lay from here on the forum, but a Mormon Pay Lay Ale) replied, "I will through the veil, on the five points of fellowship." and then one of his old coot buddies said, "Women, cover your faces" and then the ladies say in unison, "We will go down". The fellers all smirk and snort and say in unison, "return and report'. Then they all go hie to Kolob.

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Dipsnort
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:30 am
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:text-worthless:

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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:54 pm
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Dipsnort, with a click of the mouse you can find your own illustrations but watch out for virus's. They can cause hard drive warts, data herpes, and other nasty illnesses that are very difficult to treat. (so i've heard)

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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:54 pm
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"Cover your faces!"


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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:02 pm
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Great photo Abinadi.

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Dansdone
Post  Post subject: Re: The great many times Jesus has been on earth  |  Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:17 am
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One cannot count the number of times the Savior has been on this earth. That is if you are more influenced with emotional rather than intellectual stimuli.


Mary Elizabeth Rollins: Autobiography
Quote:
After prayer and singing, Joseph began talking. Suddenly he stopped and seemed almost transfixed, he was looking ahead and his face outshone the candle which was on a shelf just behind him. I thought I could almost see the cheek bones, he looked as though a searchlight was inside his face and shining through every pore. I could not take my eyes from his face. After a short time he looked at us very solemnly and said: "Brothers and sisters do you know who has been in your midst this night?" One of the smith family said 'an angle of the lord.' Joseph did not answer. Martin Harris was sitting at the prophet's feet on a box, he slid to his knees, clasped his arms around the prophet's knees and said: 'I know, it was our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.' Joseph put his hand on Martin's head and answered: Martin, "God revealed that to you. Brothers and sisters, the Savior has been in your midst."


We can see this same kind of crap in LDS services today and for that matter evangelical tv everyday.

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