So after computer errors I won't get into, I finally was able to order several transcripts from BYU-Idaho. It's all I've been waiting for in order to send in what I call my "Resignation Letter" to SLC.

All that aside, I've been watching the forums for awhile now. I'm thoroughly impressed by the more long-term moderators and Infymus. I'm grateful to have found a site such as this. Rainfeather, Abinadi and Infymus ~ whether you know it or not, I owe each of you some gratitude. I don't have the knowledge or composure that any of the three of you do in debate, though I know some of you are more into holding your own in debate than others.

My own background: I grew up in a very Mormon household. I did the BYU-Idaho thing based on the fact that my parents threatened to not help me with school tuition if I didn't go where they wanted me to. It's ironic looking back considering I had a full academic scholarship to several colleges but I suppose that's the joy of brainwashing, now isn't it? After school I married a nice Mormon boy. I'm currently in medicine working toward a cardiology residency and the previous temple marriage aforementioned fell apart due to me not being willing to give him several children and stay home. The fact that I had questions about the church never sat well either. He had served a mission and decided it was his personal charge to blindly defend the church tooth and nail, even if it didn't make logical sense. Every Sunday became a miserable battle to the point that I eventually decided I wasn't getting anything but pain and anguish out of church. Somehow, that made zero sense to me so I stopped going. Since then, things have been brighter. Life has been much better living without constant guilt over the most innocuous things. Finally looking into the things I had questions about led me to realize what a crock the whole thing was. And while I am not incredibly close to my family, I only hope that they can take the blinders off one day.

In any case, I'm hoping to be more active on the forums, time permitting. It's good to finally be free.

Asystole,

Congrats for sending in the letter. Hope you get a quick reply.

You can look forward to a very personal professional mass printed in full color phamplet shortly. It's like their autoresponder to these sorts of requests.

Peace.

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17

Wait, so you have a brain and you're using it to become an independent person and to help others rather than to become a baby factory drone? You should be ashamed of yourself! Nice to have you here Asystole. It is always so refreshing to see folks rise above Mormonism.

I too am very impressed with our moderators. I always find it amazing that some of our active Mormon visitors don't have a clue they are completely owned in debates with some of our best and brightest. It's funny and it's sad.

_________________
Dipsnort, sniper of truth and aspiring Harriet Tubman of Mormonism

Hi, Asystole. Welcome. And thanks for the lovely words.

I'm afraid I've never had much of a heart for debate. I swear I don't have a competitive bone in my body and I'm much more of a peace-maker. But I do tend to get somewhat Mama-Bearish if I feel our dear members are being made fun of.

I know that I remain here because I love the folks on this forum.

I hope you enjoy being here with us.

_________________
"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Welcome, Asystole. What does "Asystole" mean?
It is great to hear about people following their heart. Congratulations on sending your letter and thank you for sharing your experiences and happiness.
You mentioned being free and I know you know there isn't another feeling like it.
“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.” Thucydides
Once I had the courage to get a divorce I did it, never looked back and it felt great!
Once I had the courage to leave Mormonism I did it, never looked back and it felt great!

Welcome, Asystole.
I'm glad you finally posted.
Thanks for lurking, and the nice words.

I am not one to give much advice, but here is one for you. No matter how difficult it gets, or divided you feel, or disenchanted you think you are becoming, stick with that cardialogy residency to the very bitter last tail end. No matter what hell it feels like in the meanwhile, afterwards you will be so glad about what you have accomplished, you will scream aloud and not care who hears. I've known people to drop out, and I've known people to plug through. The plugger-throughers are better off and happier.

It's more colloquially known as "flat lining" on a heart monitor. Somehow it seemed fitting given how I felt about Mormonism combined with my love for cardiology.

I think the only thing I'm debating at this point is whether to do interventional or not. It's only an extra year of residency but surgery really isn't my "thing." All of the newest, latest and greatest is going on there, though. I still have a couple of years to decide so we'll see. I'm finally realizing that it's my choice how many patients I see in a day, not the insurance company's or my pocket book's. Though that one has been a tough lesson. I won't be the most wealthy doctor but I'll be damned before I let others dictate my practice for me. I appreciate you going out on a limb for giving me advice. This has not been an easy road, by far. It's long. It's arduous. In the end, though, the people I come across make it worth it. Both in and out of medicine. I look forward to what's ahead of me.

I wondered, when I first saw your "name", if you had a medical background. It's kinda of a sad name in some ways. I hope you find what you need here.

Asystole, you will think and feel differently 'tomorrow' than you do 'today'.

I had a friend who went into physical therapy. He liked it. Couldn't keep out of it. Got more training. Went to medical school. Became a back surgeon, and is apparently well thought of, bright, enjoying life. When we first thought of "opening up peoples' backs", it was pretty gross. "But now he is one"!

If you like the work, later on you will want to be able to do more. I think it's that way for everyone who does a job they really like a lot.

Now I'm getting patriarchal. I'll stop while I'm behind.
Do what you think best - tomorrow's best will be even better.

Abinadi

I can see why you would think of it as sad. Perhaps I put too much thought into my username but let me explain. I pictured dying, in essence, and then being shocked back into a brand new life. Yes, Mormonism is dead to me now but my life now is anything but sad compared to how it was. I got a whole new lease on life by walking away. There was a time where I had to face the realization that I no longer had anything to look forward to when I died but even that took on a positive twist when that made each day sweeter because it might, in fact, be my last. I live my life a lot more fully now because I know there's not some "being" who is ultimately in charge of my life and the lives of those around me. I know that it's me who's responsible for things and only me. If I want something, I don't pray for it anymore, I go get it. The latter of which was always true as you can probably guess from my profession. But now I don't have the period of false hope. I see it at anything but sad. But perhaps that's just me. Everything from here is an open opportunity. Even asystole.

As far as what I need from this board, I think I've already gotten that. When I discovered that Mormonism was a farse, I went through the period of anger and denial as I'm sure most do. I was livid at the wasted time I had spent; the wasted energy and tears. I found this board very late in my search but I've already gleaned from them the support I needed. My purpose here now is to pass on support in whatever capacity I can to those who need it. I saw a post a couple weeks back and I won't be able to quote it verbatim but I recollect it being between a current Mormon and Abinadi. They were asking about the anger they see here. Abinadi's response ( I apologize for not being able to quote you and probably butchering this) was something to the effect of him not seeing the full-grown tree. I'm definitely no tree but I've gotten past most of the knee-jerk reactions. If that provides anything at all, that's all I'm after at this point. Either way, thank you for the welcome. It'll be nice to have a voice.

Welcome from another medical person. I also hate insurance companies.

I'm not a fan of insurance companies either. What is your medical background?

Enough said, cool, really really cool.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{ If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~ Stevie Wonder }
.................. www.­tudou.­com/­programs/­view/­7Q0q-­Vv8sHQ/
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.................. www.tudou.com/programs/view/7Q0q-Vv8sHQ/


God of Poly-Folly Folly

I am a nurse practitioner in primary care. I have my own clinic here in Washington State.

Welcome Asystole.

We can tell by your posting that you are a true humanitarian in many regards. Wanting to have a voice here and all...we welcome your sound reasoning abilities and comments..your own differential diagnosis turned out very well, hasn't it? That's so nice to read about here..

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."

I managed to time the mailing of the resignation letters almost perfectly. I mailed them out at lunch on Thursday and went home to find my twenty transcripts in my mailbox that night. Can we say divine inspiration?

...You should see the look on my face right now. I couldn't keep it straight for more than 2 seconds before breaking into a smirk. My, all the times I or others have attributed things to some false higher power when it was just math or logic or simple reasoning that did the trick.

In any case, I talked to an old friend a few nights ago and I might not be out of ALL my old Mormon friends. I didn't think I was holding my cards that far away from my chest but when I asked for who my current bishop and stake president were, she flat out asked if I was sending letters to have my name removed. I, not being one to lie, said yes. She actually said she wouldn't disown me. Thank goodness.

Now to see if my family and my ex-husband find out. Ah, the good old Mormon grapevine. Though he might be grateful he only has one name to call out at the veil. Who knows?

Very Congratulations!

Thank you, thank you. We shall see the response. I'm stoked.

"I'm stoked"...How nice!

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."